Sunday, April 30, 2017

Male Rape Culture; Chechnya's President Ramzan Kadyrov; A Gay Father and Son

Male Rape Culture

Just when I think I'm going to stop linking to Queerty, they come up with a piece like this. It's short and simple, and it gets the point across. 

“Sexual violence does not discriminate against men,” activist and filmmaker Vanessa McNeal says.


McNeal’s new documentary The Voiceless features the stories of five male survivors of sexual violence and explores the taboos and stereotypes surrounding the abuse. The film has been making the rounds on college campuses and was just made available online at www.thevoicelessdocumentary.com

If you think men...especially gay men...don't experience sexual violence and harassment you're living in a bubble. I know from personal experience it happens, and I still get it on social media at least weekly from some idiot on either Facebook or Twitter. Most of the time I get it from other gay men. 

Here's the rest

Chechnya's President Ramzan Kadyrov

With all the news we've been reading about gays being detained in horrible concentration camps in Chechnya, I think we've all been a little curious to know more about the President of Chechnya. 

Kadyrov has been President of Chechnya since 2007, although he has held power there for much longer than that. Ramzan’s father, Akhmad Kadyrov, was a high-ranking Muslim cleric in Chechnya; after Russia beat down the terribly violent wars of the 1990’s when Chechnya tried to fight for independence, Akhmad was “elected” president, as approved by the Russian government. But then Akhmad was assasinated in 2004 by persistent Chechen rebels, so now his son Ramzan is in charge. Since Ramzan took over, the fighting for independence has calmed down. And Ramzan is delighted that Chechnya is a Russian republic again. 

There's a lo more here. There are photos of him hugging kittens. But it gives a lot more insight as to what's going on with gays in that part of the world. 

A Gay Father and Son

Even though this is not a new topic to me, I've been seeing a lot of this lately. This was a question posted on reddit about a kid who came out to his dad, and his dad had a little surprise for him. 

So I turned 17 couple of days back and I told my dad that I’m gay. To my surprise, my dad took it very positively and looked happy. That evening he told me he’s gay too, always been. He says he never cheated on my mom with a guy and got married due to social and family reasons.

Should we tell my mom, what to do? 

You can check this one out here. 

There are various replies, and a few comments at the bottom. You can see that a lot of people are unfamiliar with the whole topic, and some are just plain dumb. 

I think they should tell the mom. That is if she doesn't already know anyway. I would be willing to bet she's not going to be that shocked. 

The truth is most of the marriages I've known personally between a gay man and a straight woman have been happy and they've lasted for the long haul. 


Not All Gay Novels Have Sex


In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon





Saturday, April 29, 2017

Austin Rhodes' Older Boyfriend Gets Trolled; Dear Abby Responds To Gay Neighbor Haters; Scott Baio's Penis

Austin Rhodes' Older Boyfriend Gets Trolled

The only reason I'm linking to this is because there are over forty comments as of right now. And when you see that many comments you know it's going to be interesting.

The whole story revolves around Youtuber, Austin Rhodes, replying to trolls that left negative comments about Rhodes' older boyfriend.

“What works for me and my boyfriend is going to be totally different from what works for somebody else,” he says.

“For anyone to judge from the outside when they don’t know how the two people are with each other. Plus, most people commenting don’t even know that we’ve been together for three years.

You can check it out here. There's a good discussion about age.

But here's one of the most honest comments...

"He could date his dog as far as I care."

Dear Abby Responds To Gay Neighbor Haters

It's been a slow week in gay news.

This one is about a response from Dear Abby to a letter that was written to her by people who don't like their gay neighbors. They thought it was a father and son, and then they discovered it's a 50 year old guy with a 24 year old partner.

This was a respectable neighborhood before this ‘odd couple’ moved in. They have all sorts of strange-looking company. Men who look like women, women who look like men, blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday I even saw two nuns go in there!

They must be running some sort of business, or a club. There are motorcycles, expensive sports cars, and even bicycles parked in front and on the lawn. They keep their shades drawn so you can’t see what’s going on inside but they must be up to no good, or why the secrecy?

Nuns? 

You can check out Dear Abby's response, here.

Scott Baio's Penis

This isn't really news, but it's interesting in a cheesy pop culture way.

Scott Baio made a few questionable comments regarding Erin Moran's death and Moran's brother responded with this...

He wrote that his sister dumped Baio because, “you were more like a little girl and not a man…She told me that you were tiny. You know. Barely a man in the man region. True story.”

Well, Baio's wife was quick to respond...

She tweeted, “Why would a sister tell her brother about the size of boyfriend’s manhood? Creepy at best. SB was a playboy for a reason!”

Baio believes he's being attacked because he's such a strong Trump supporter.

You can read it all here.

Frankly, I wouldn't have made the comments that Baio made about Erin Moran, and I definitely wouldn't have responded the way Moran's brother did. But what do I know?

Not All Gay Novels Have Sex


In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon






 




Friday, April 28, 2017

Katie Couric and Gays In Chechnya; Another Slanted Article On E-books; When "Mr. Right" Is HIV Positive

Katie Couric and Gays In Chechyna

The disturbing situation where gays are allegedly being detained in concentration camps in Chechnya is finally making it into the mainstream. Here is a link where Katie Couric questions a Russian spokesperson about what's going on, and the response the spokesperson gives will make you cringe. And Couric does NOT let her off the hook.

However, one subject apparently off the table was the recent reports of concentration camps in Chechnya that are holding gay men, many of whom are tortured and, in some cases, killed.

You can watch the video clip here. I haven't seen anyone squirm so much since the last Republican debates. And it only makes me worry more about what's really going on over there.

At least it's not being ignored by the mainstream media anymore.

Another Slanted Article On E-books

One of the things you rarely ever see is a reader slamming print books. I only read e-books now. I switched to e-books in 2008, and I haven't actually purchased a hard copy print book since then...and I buy books. Even though I don't read print books anymore, I would never knock them. I get that people want choices, and I even release my own books now in both digital and in print for that reason. I want to give my readers choices.

And I'll even admit that e-books are not without issues. My own e-books have been pirated from one end of the globe to the other and there's nothing I can do about it. But I still only read e-books myself.
 
These slanted articles about e-books never seem to end. Unfortunately, she sounds so backward and out of date. I have to wonder if she still records TV shows on a VCR.

“It was new and exciting,” says Cathryn Summerhayes, a literary agent at Curtis Brown. “But now they look so clunky and unhip, don’t they? I guess everyone wants a piece of trendy tech and, unfortunately, there aren’t trendy tech reading devices and I don’t think people are reading long-form fiction on their phones. I think your average reader would say that one of the great pleasures of reading is the physical turning of the page. It slows you down and makes you think.”

I think a lot, while I'm reading and when I'm not reading. And I think she's full of crap. For me, there's nothing more comfortable than getting on my treadmill, propping up my iPad, and reading Anne Tyler's latest book in digital format while I workout. I could never do that with a print book.

This article reads a lot like a slanted advertorial, as most of these things tend to do. One of the main reasons why e-book sales flattened out is because the lines have been drawn, and I think they will remain that way for at least another decade.

In any event, the good thing is that we still have a choice. I love that. If you want to read print books, you can still do that. And if you prefer e-books, you can do that, too. The main point I'm trying to make is that I don't see any reason to slam either one.

You can read the article in full here. It's not totally without merit and there are a few good points at the end. In some cases I even agree. But there is a slant, as there always has been from people within the old trad publishing industry whenever the topic of e-books comes up.

When "Mr. Right" Is HIV Positive

Here's an article that discusses Charlie Tredway who won Mr. Gay New Zealand 2017, and who also happens to be HIV positive.

He’s sick of countering myths, he’s sick of explaining the difference between HIV and AIDS, he’s sick of defending his right to have a pleasurable sex life, he’s sick of educating when he could be cruising. He’s sick, but not because of a virus, but because of a community that seems so far behind.

You can read more here. It's really a call for people to learn more about HIV, and it's long overdue. Unfortunately, some of the comments only promote the stigmas.

Not All Gay Novels Have Sex


In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon




Thursday, April 27, 2017

Dating A Sapiosexual; Dumb Promo For "Fire Island"; Young High School Guy Outed By A Classmate

Dating A Sapiosexual

If you didn't know what a sapiosexual is, you will now. It's someone who will only date people they consider smart enough to be around. At first it sounds okay. Who doesn't value intelligence? But as you read on they start to sound obnoxious, boring, and not very good in bed.

All the sapiosexuals agree that they can determine whether someone is smart enough for them “in the first 10 minutes” of meeting. And when asked if they would ever break up with someone who wasn’t “smart enough,” here’s what they had to say:

“I don’t think I would ever commit myself to someone who isn’t intelligent enough for me,” Man A proclaims. 

I think they're all full of crap.


Dumb Promo For "Fire Island"

Here's a story that is basically nothing more than a silly promotion for the new reality show on Logo, Fire Island. I watched the first episode and lasted about 10 minutes. I switched to reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond

I'm not going to link to any excerpts from the promo, but here's one of the comments left by a reader I found accurate. I know a few people who frequent Fire Island. 

Exactly. Then you have queens like the two locals who actually believe that a gay ghetto for rich queens like fire island is some magical place that’s revolutionary when 99% of men who went there and still go there go just to hook up and use drugs.

You can read the entire thing here. I won't be watching Fire Island again. But in all fairness, this doesn't just happen in the gay community with reality TV. Reality TV has pretty much misrepresented everyone, from the people in the state of New Jersey, to the housewives in Beverly Hills. 

Young High School Guy Outed By A Classmate

I don't think there's anything worse than being outed. I despise anyone who outs someone. It's forcing someone into doing something before he/she is ready to handle the consequences. And this story is even more intense because he was really private, very young, and so careful. 

It also shows how serious the bully issue still is in schools. 

In high school, he joined his school’s football team, where he played defensive end, linebacker, and then  running back. As an athlete, Moon explains, he was able to keep his sexual orientation hidden since he was supposed to be “tough” and “a big, strong guy.”

During his senior year, he told three of his teammates about his sexual orientation. Two of the teammates said they never wanted to talk to him again. Meanwhile, the third one began telling everyone else at school.

You can read the rest here. There is a happy ending. Now if we could just smack some sense into these little high school twits who think they know it all. If you're reading this now, and you're in high school, I promise you that high school is only a very small part of your lives. High school is nothing more than a brief stepping stone that will lead you toward your real life. And, it will get so much better.

Not All Gay Novels Have Sex


In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon









Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Re-imagining Classic Hetero Romance Scenes With Gay Couples; Barry Manilow's Gay Bathhouse Days; Madonna On "Blond Ambition" Biopic

Re-Imagining Classic Hetero Romance Scenes With Gay Couples

Here's a story about re-telling classic romance scenes from mainstream movies with gay couples instead of straight couples. I for one know it works because I've written a few full length novels with movie tie-ins and gay couples...re-telling classic plots, which isn't something new to publishing. I've done it with plots like Pygmalion, and Cinderella. I did it with my book Dancing Dirty. And Anne Tyler's new novel, Vinegar Girl, is openly being promoted as a re-telling of a Shakespeare story.  

In any event...

That’s the gist of this short film by comedy duo A Brit and a Yank, who “became friends through social media and decided their constant back and forth bantering would provide good comedic fodder.”

Here, they take on Dirty Dancing, Romeo + Juliet, Ghost, Say Anything, and Love Actually, and the results are as ludicrous as you’d expect.

You can check this out here.  This kind of re-imagining or re-telling has been popular in publishing for years, but this is the first time I've seen it in film with gay characters.

Barry Manilow's Gay Bathhouse Days

A lot of people don't realize that Barry Mannilow once performed in one of the most famous gay bathhouses in New York...with Bette Midler. I have older gay friends who saw them in person and they're still talking about it to this day. It's just that the stories I hear from friends seem to be a little different from the way Manilow tells it. But I would rather listen to what Manilow has to say. It's his life. He should get the last word.

“Those were just for a couple of weekends,” he gays of the performances that led to Midler being booked on The Tonight Show.

“And people think we were there for years. It was two weekends.”

In 1968, The Continental Baths opened its basement doors at Ansonia Hotel, located on the Upper West Side. 

You can check this out here, with some history about the Continental Baths. The comments are interesting, too.

Madonna On "Blond Ambition" Biopic

I have to take my stand with Madonna on this one, and I'm not usually fond of everything she does. I was mortified when she offered to give blowies to Hillary Clinton voters in the last election. But she makes a good point this time, and one that we don't think about enough in our society. It's her life.


“Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool. Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a disease in our society.”


You can check this out here. I probably won't see this.




Not All Gay Novels Have Sex


In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon










Tuesday, April 25, 2017

"The Tan Gay"; Marco Rubio Supporting Gays In Chechnya; Olympian Shawn Barber Comes Out

"The Tan Gay"

Sometimes on Twitter I find something I want to read more about...and post about. This is one of those times. It's a web site I found through a guy I follow on Twitter, and it's not the kind of thing I see all the time.

The only problem is that he doesn't keep up with the blog, which isn't that unusual with personal bloggers. But he does keep up on Twitter in case any of you are interested in following him.

In any event, it's an amusing read...and I believe the sarcasm is intended.

The bitch is back. It’s been entirely too long and I apologize (actually I don’t, it just seemed appropriate). So whats new? Don’t care, but I’ve been well, I haven’t had sex with randos let alone anyone lately, I’ve just been busy with personal shit, work and school (crying) and that’s pretty much it. Get ready for regular blog updates and even more relatable posts. Sit back (go lay in a tanning bed you pale fuck) and get your iPhone ready to read my blog.

Here the link, and here's his twitter link@thetangay

Marco Rubio Supporting Gays In Chechnya

Evidently, Republican Senator Marco Rubio recently gave a bold speech about the way gays are being detained and tortured in Chechnya. I've posted about that situation here. So far, from what I've seen (and I've been following this one) Marco Rubio is the only one to bring this into the mainstream. And it's still being ignored for the most part by the media. I didn't even see it trending on Twitter.

“Unfortunately this is not a new reality for those living under the brutal tyranny of the Chechen leader, who by the way happens to be a loyal ally of Vladimir Putin. There have been reports in the past of similar abuses, although these reports seem to be the most brutal and should provoke anger in all of us. We should never, ever tolerate human rights violations against any person for their political views, their religious beliefs, or their sexual orientation.”

Here's the rest. It's really a call for the US to step up and do more for these people.

Olympian Shawn Barber Comes Out

Here's another coming out story with someone who has a public profile. I never get tired of reading them.

He's a Canadian pole vault champion and he came out in public on Facebook.

“Gay and proud! Thank you to my parents for being such a great support. I continue to grow as a person and have a great support group. My parents are my greatest support and have helped me through a lot recently. To my friends, you are always my friends and i love you too!”

You can read more here.

 New Release

Imperfect


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Monday, April 24, 2017

The S#%T Gays Have To Deal With; Trans Woman Turned Away At Soup Kitchen; Five Tips For Gay Open Relationships

The S#%T Gays Have To Deal With

Google just released a new ad with a gay family that has two dads. And the far left is cheering us on as if we're lab rats and the far right is condemning us as if we committed a crime.

This is the kind of shit we deal with on a daily basis.

What neither of them know is that just because google decided to do an ad like this to get more attention for google, it's not something new. I've known gay dads all my adult life.

The 33-second ad titled Carpool features a family headed by two dads. In it, one of the dads asks Google Home for his schedule, then the other. Based on the results, the couple decides who will take the kids.

You can check that out here. Unfortunately, those of us stuck in the middle don't get to comment either way.

Trans Woman Turned Away At Soup Kitchen

This one is making me curious. Allegedly, a trans woman was turned away at a soup kitchen because she was wearing a dress.

But there are all kinds of red flags...

Stenberg said his mission was acting according to the Bible. “Christianity is dependent on our obedience to God.” It’s interesting to note that on the mission’s website the founder is listed as Thomas F. Morse, a convicted felon who served time for murder.

You can read more here, but I can't help wondering if we're getting the entire story.

I obviously can't comment on this particular incident, however, I knew a trans woman once who was one of the most dangerous people I have ever met. She caused trouble wherever she went. And it's not because she was trans. Her gender had nothing to do with it. It's because she was absolutely rotten to the core.

Five Tips For Open Gay Relationships

I normally don't like anything that gives "tips." I don't even like writing "tips." I think they're a waste of time...especially writing tips. Writing tips always seem to be coming from someone who has some kind of personal, ambitious agenda. You rarely see them coming from a place of pure good-natured sharing. Of course ambitious people will never tell you this. It stands to reason.

But I digress. I do think the open gay relationship is an interesting topic. Keep in mind this isn't about having a 3-way on occasion. This is about getting permission to have sex with other people while you are either married or in a relationship.

Here's one of the tips...

Once you’ve agreed to move forward and open up a relationship, it’s important to set clear rules. The more detailed, the better. This will help prevent unexpected consequences later on. When exactly is it OK to hookup with another sex partner? Is it something you will always notify the other about, or no? Are you agreeing to always do something together, or being on your own is OK too? How far can things go? Some couples might say oral sex is OK, but anal intercourse is too personal and, therefore, off-limits. Again, details are key!

You can read the rest here. 

What they don't mention are the gay couples who have explored open relationships and found themselves in the middle of a divorce because their spouse fell in love with someone else. And that someone else is usually a lot younger, he knows how to play the game a lot better, and he isn't worried about breaking up your home. In fact, he can't wait to break up your home. It's not all that different from straight relationships and you should proceed with caution. 

And check out the comments. For the most part, they are spot on this time. 



Not All Gay Novels Have Sex

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon